Ben Oofana  


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"Ben Oofana is one of the most genuine people I have ever met. He walks his talk and it all comes from his heart."  

"Ben helped me get my life back. When we first met I was a confused, angry and broken person and my body reflected all of this pain. I was also very determined to heal. Session by session, Ben gently and patiently guided me through the process of opening up to the pain, releasing it and replacing it with what was important to me. I began to feel less fragmented, more whole; living less in the past and more in the present. Benís medicine is strong; it is a process that requires commitment and taking responsibility for yourself. That is true healing.'
 - Lee, Boston

"I had a very difficult childhood and before meeting Ben I often felt that I was looking at the world through a window, or that it was only a dream. I also had a low tolerance for stressful situations and would be completely worn out after a tough day. After two sessions with Ben I noticed that I no longer had the feeling of being separate from the world around me and I cope with stress and conflict much more easily now."
 - Dawn, Kansas City

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How Does Healing From Past Hurts Help Us to Attract Healthier Companions?

Many of the people who show up for my classes or work with me individually have recently gone through a breakup. Others complain about how their relationships have not worked out and some are very lonely because they do not have anyone in their lives. Theyíve experienced a great deal of suffering because of their inability to fulfill their needs for love and companionship. Most are still holding the painful emotions associated with lost loves and other stresses within their bodies because they have never learned to work constructively with their own emotions.

Whatís really sad is that many people will say, "Why do I want to experience these feelings? Öthey feel horrible." What most people fail to understand is that the painful feelings of grief, hurt, loss, loneliness, abandonment and other stresses will remain trapped within the body indefinitely where they continue to have an adverse effect upon themselves and all of their subsequent relationships unless they learn how to "digest" them.

Many of us were neglected, abused or deeply hurt in some other way early in life. We didnít have the capacity to understand what was happening or heal the hurt. In many instances there was no one to turn to and so we ended up holding the pain, fear and confusion within our bodies.

All of us have experienced pain when other people have acted in ways that were hurtful. We may have felt rejected when someone we felt attracted to did not reciprocate our feelings of love or we experienced all kinds of excruciatingly painful feelings when our partner broke off the relationship. Most people never fully heal the hurts.

Most of us learned from an early age to shut down or avoid the feelings, issues and realities that cause us pain or discomfort. Disconnecting from parts of ourselves in this way can leave us so far removed from the source of our pain and thatís why many of us are so powerless to effect healing change on our own.

The feelings held within our bodies, that we try so hard to resist keep us locked in a holding pattern. We often find ourselves attracting and attracted to people who reenact our childhood traumas and dysfunctional patterns as adults. Our childhood and adult traumas and destructive patterns keep repeating themselves because the painful feelings and unresolved conflicts held within our bodies cause us to attract the same kind of people and experiences.

Weíre not going to heal the wounds until we begin to fully experience the feelings and sort through the issues. Anything we experience within the context of our relationships that has impacted us and any feelings connected to it need to be digested. Thoroughly digesting our experiences and any subsequent feelings helps us to heal the hurt and resolve the issues so that we can grow, move forward in our lives and become receptive to the kind of healthy partners and relationships that truly do meet our needs.

We may experience all kinds of convoluted feelings resulting from the messy dramas we find ourselves caught up in or the painful feelings of grief in response to the loss of a love. It often feels as if these emotions are stuck within our bodies and it may seem as if they will never go away.

Feelings can initially be difficult to access or work with when we havenít dealt with them before. But no matter how bad things seem, itís important to start where weíre at by fully experiencing our true feelings for what they are.

Iíve learned to bring the person or situation fully into the forefront of my awareness and then I notice how I feel in response to whatís going on and where the feelings are located within my body. I then begin to breathe softly and deeply while fully immersing my awareness in the middle of the feelings and sensations as they arise. The feelings and sensations may intensify, soften or move to other parts of my body. One feeling may dissipate and then other sets of feelings emerge. I just continue to follow the feelings as they go through their progression.

The thoughts, memories, feelings and energies connected to present and past hurtful experiences and traumas have a way of congealing within our bodies and minds. Breathing into the feelings and sensations helps us to break down and digest stagnant emotions and energies that have accumulated within our bodies.

We also need to make extensive use of other healing resources. I spend a great deal of time doing the Chi Gong practices Iíve learned while training in the Internal Martial Arts. I work with specific mantras from the Hindu-Vedic tradition. I have received a great deal of deep tissue body work, healing sessions and have gone on many of the Native American vision quests that involve going out to fast alone in the mountains for four days and nights without food and water. I have basically reformatted myself as a result of doing all of this intensive practice.

I kept returning to the practice of breathing into any feelings that surfaced in response to what was happening in my present day reality because it is the most powerful self-healing tool I have found. I was attracting and attracted to women who re-enacted the traumas of my childhood for a long time. There were also periods where I felt stuck in the grief and longing of wanting someone who did not reciprocate my feelings of love and it felt as if nothing would ever change. The all consuming feelings that were surfacing during this period were excruciating and it seemed like the pain would never end. Fortunately I had an intuitive sense that said to keep breathing into the pain until I broke through to the other side and then I could feel powerful emanations of warmth flowing through me.

Iíve been doing this practice for many years now. My internal state of being continues to become lighter and I feel freer. That has made it easier for me to let go when things were not working. The emerging warmth and lightness helps me to develop a more attractive presence and that is making it possible for me to attract healthier friends and companions. I continue to work with these practices on a daily basis and I can still feel the innate healing intelligence residing within taking me through a continual process of evolution.

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