Ben Oofana  


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*Adya Sampradaya comes from the Sanskrit Language. Adya means original or primal. And Sampradaya means cherished knowledge given forth carefully. Each edition features articles on healing and personal growth, traditional wisdom from around the world and the news that affects our lives.

"Ben Oofana is one of the most genuine people I have ever met. He walks his talk and it all comes from his heart."  

"Ben helped me get my life back. When we first met I was a confused, angry and broken person and my body reflected all of this pain. I was also very determined to heal. Session by session, Ben gently and patiently guided me through the process of opening up to the pain, releasing it and replacing it with what was important to me. I began to feel less fragmented, more whole; living less in the past and more in the present. Benís medicine is strong; it is a process that requires commitment and taking responsibility for yourself. That is true healing.'
 - Lee, Boston

"I had a very difficult childhood and before meeting Ben I often felt that I was looking at the world through a window, or that it was only a dream. I also had a low tolerance for stressful situations and would be completely worn out after a tough day. After two sessions with Ben I noticed that I no longer had the feeling of being separate from the world around me and I cope with stress and conflict much more easily now."
 - Dawn, Kansas City

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Becoming the Center of Your Own Universe

Being alone was excruciatingly painful to me. I wanted so much to have someone in my life and I felt incomplete without a partner. I felt I needed another person so I could begin to live my own life. As irrational as it may seem, I was waiting for that special someone to come along to make me complete. Waiting around like that created an imbalance within me and that made me less desirable to the women I found myself attracted to.

I had to learn to become fully present with my experience of not having a companion. I did that by breathing softly and deeply while focusing all of my attention on the feelings of aloneness. Breathing into those feelings helped to alleviate the painful feelings of emotional starvation.

I made the decision to focus on what really mattered to me and committed myself to taking constructive action to do the things I wanted to achieve on a daily basis. Fully engaging in the process of living my own life brought about all kinds of changes within me. I became more present within my body, gained clarity that revealed my own lifeís purpose and developed a passion for what it is that I truly needed to be doing. Women began to notice and pay more attention to me as I went through these changes. That has made it easier to attract someone into my life.

There were many instances in the past where I found myself attracted to women who were unavailable. I felt such a strong and compelling desire and that was enough to convince me I was meant to be with this person. I kept trying to be the person she wanted and trying to make the relationship work until it finally blew up in my face.

Iíve had relationships that seemed to start off really well, but would begin to deteriorate as soon as the underlying issues began to make their way to the surface. There have been times when I was doing everything I could to address the issues and hold the relationship together. Some of my former partners felt very strongly for me, but were still not willing to address the issues that were arising. I would become so caught up in the drama that was unfolding and then my life began to revolve around the other person.

Most of us want to love and be loved, but many are not willing to do the work that is necessary for love to grow. Relationships are going to bring our deepest issues and vulnerabilities to the surface. My desire has always been to remain present and be fully engaged. After years of trying I learned that I can only do my part. I cannot do my partnerís process for her. There are some things that cannot be fixed or resolved when one or both partners are not willing to be fully present, look at themselves or address the issues that arise. I had to learn to accept that even if it meant the relationship would come to an end as a result.

I could feel the part of me that wanted so much for things to work out and the fears that the relationship was going to inevitably come to an end. Breathing into these feelings helped me to let go when things were not working. It helped me to see the other person for who she truly was, understand her limitations and to accept things as they are in the relationship.

After some time I began to see how my life was revolving around the other person. I would catch myself becoming so caught up in the drama and then pull my awareness back into my own body. I started breathing into my fears of loss and my need to control the outcome. That helped me to realize that I cannot change my partner and to accept what I had no control over. I became more and more focused on what I needed to be doing for my own growth.

Many of us have a tendency to become overly attached to others and we get sucked into their dramas because we have not developed the foundation that we need to stand on our own. We have become so disconnected from our internal source. Working with intensive spiritual practices helps to build the strong foundational structures and deepen our connection to the higher power so that we can stand on our own.

I increased the amount of time that I spent working with the practices that were helping me to grow and focused more on the things that I really needed to be doing to get ahead in my own life. I became the center of my own universe. I took the attitude that says "Iím going to do my own process. You can walk along beside me if you want to, but Iím going to keep moving forward." Ironically, I began to attract healthier companions as a result.

Living From Your Own Center

Itís easy to find yourself getting sucked into the drama of a relationship and then your life begins to revolve around that of your partner. Revolving around another person will throw you off balance emotionally and that can make you very unattractive.

Get a life of your own. Your first commitment needs to be to yourself. Start by asking yourself "Whatís important to me?" Having a sense of whatís important to you and taking constructive action on a daily basis to make your dreams a tangible reality will cause you to become far more attractive as an individual.

Show up and remain fully present when your partner is willing to engage and keep yourself open to the opportunities you find to connect with the people with whom you truly resonate. There are also times when you need to let go of everyone and everything else. Focus on what you need to be doing to address your own needs. Fully immerse yourself in the practices that are enabling you to heal and grow as an individual. Being true to yourself makes you more attractive. Either your partner will come back towards you or you will end up attracting someone else who is healthier.


New: Ben's New Book: Emergence; Heal Your Body and Mind - Fulfill Your Life's Purpose
New: Our Body and Mindís Need For Silence | Trying So Hard To Make a Relationship Work | Abdominal Pain and Bloating |
Choosing the Most Effective Means of Communication | Polarization |Sex for Money | Swami Ji's Secret Password Mantra

How Does Healing From Past Hurts Help Us to Attract Healthier Companions?
The Magical Cure For All Of Our Relationship Issues
 Emotional Eating | The Spirit Lake | Becoming the Center of Your Own Universe | Talking it to Death |
Do We Really Need to Be in a Relationship? |  The Magic Elixir |
 Creating Healthier Relationships  | Getting Over a Cold or Flu Quickly |
Get Paid While I Speak | Lost In a World of AbstractionHealing from Childhood Sexual Trauma | Sham-ism |

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